


Just Right

by SelenaEstella



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Autistic Character (non-canon), Autistic Natasha, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Headcanon Autistic Character, Light-Hearted, No Spoilers, Non-Graphic Sexual Content, Other, Polyamory, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaEstella/pseuds/SelenaEstella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Tony got into a wonderful relationship with two wonderful women and everything turned out just right. That's not to say it was easy, though.</p>
<p>  <i>With a contented sigh, Tony eased himself onto his back, very careful to be as subtle as possible. Nat slept with her back pressed against him, out of some self-protective urge probably and Tony kept up skin contact out of respect for it, but Pep usually unstuck herself from him at some point during the night, out of heat or something, and Tony had room to move by morning.</i></p>
<p>  <i>Relaxed on the soft mattress, arms folded behind his head to prevent any awkward head-knocking incidents, Tony slowly opened his eyes and smiled to himself.</i></p>
<p>  <i>He was the luckiest bastard on earth, and he would savour every second of it.</i></p>
<p>(Some warnings inside but they're nothing heavy.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Right

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings: Brief-but-somewhat-graphic descriptions of sex; canon-typical swearing; Tony being a bit of an ass at one point; canon-typical alcohol consumption; some paranoia and implied self-hate.**
> 
> Hello! Hope you enjoy reading this. I have a sorta headcanon than Tony is polyamorous so I took this opportunity to explore it. It may be something I include in later, unrelated fics, but is definitely something I enjoyed writing about in this one.
> 
> [This is my lovely beta.](http://sigma-castell.tumblr.com/)
> 
> N/B: I have the headcanon that Natasha is on the autism spectrum. This contradicts 'Winter Solider' a little but I’m not going to argue my case here. I am on the spectrum myself – close to Natasha in fact – but I have a bit of trouble writing it from an outsider perspective since well, everything is normal for me. Like I assumed that constant expression is tiring for _everyone_ before I sat down and thought about it. So tips and critique would be nice. (Also, there is a great fic [here](http://atraphoenix.livejournal.com/127200.html) that explores it.)

Tony woke up slowly and calmly, light filtering gently through the blinds and the muted buzz of the busy New York streets sounding many stories below. Other than that it was quiet and dim, and Tony chose to savour it before opening his eyes. Such peaceful mornings were rare, always had been – sort of ironic now that he enjoyed them.

He had asked Jarvis to cut the usual wake-up speech not all that long ago, once he’d started to appreciate the moments between waking and having to get up and do crap. It was nice just to lie there for a while beneath the warm sheets, comfortable and safe, and savour the time before his genius mind kicked into gear and came up with another brilliant concept he had to act on immediately. It would come at some point, but until then Tony could wait. For the first time Tony could remember, the desperate need to keep his hands busy had ceased; the itch to create had faded to something more normal. And oddly enough, Tony knew exactly why.

With a contented sigh, Tony eased himself onto his back, very careful to be as subtle as possible. Nat slept with her back pressed against him, out of some self-protective urge probably and Tony kept up skin contact out of respect for it, but Pep usually unstuck herself from him at some point during the night, out of heat or something, and Tony had room to move by morning.

Relaxed on the soft mattress, arms folded behind his head to prevent any awkward head-knocking incidents, Tony slowly opened his eyes and smiled to himself.

He was the luckiest bastard on earth, and he would savour every second of it.

Tony lay with a brilliant, beautiful, perfect redhead on each side. Well, maybe more like an 'I-killed-someone-and-soaked-my-hair-in-their-blood’, and a strawberry blonde. If strawberry was the right colour – really it seemed a little _too_ red in Tony’s opinion. Something a bit pinker was more accurate – peach, perhaps? Rhubarb? Rhubarb-mixed-with-yoghurt? Depended on the light. And sometimes she dyed it blonde, and then that made it strawberry blonde _between_ them. Or perhaps a Bloody Mary – stirred, not shaken, that’s how it’s done…

_Anyway_.

Two women. Two wonderful women he hadn’t even thought would look at him twice, let alone _together_ , at the _same time_ , in the _same bed_. He didn’t think either of them had expected it either, even if the shock had been less for them because, in a way, they knew him better than he did.

Fidelity had never been Tony’s strong point; and when he was with Pepper, properly, _finally_ , he had been quietly terrified of his own damned self. Beneath the paranoia over bad men and evil aliens and all the normal stuff of course. Tony had just been _so_ worried that, despite all his intentions, no matter how hard he tried, he would get out and get drunk and get with someone else no matter how much he needed Pepper.

When he had finally plucked up the courage to express his fears – not _because_ of anything, thank God, but because the usual distractions had been wearing thin and that left an annoying amount of time for _other things_ to start niggling at his mind – Pepper had just laughed lightly. She’d said Tony shouldn’t worry, that she’d never let him anyway, and kissed him gently before leaving for her meeting. And Tony had been careful, Tony had been _good_ , the situation suddenly feeling so much more _real_ now that he had finally said something. With his efforts, the issue had faded into the background.

Then Nat – or Natasha, then – had made a reappearance. For whatever reason (possibly to keep an eye on him) she’d been stationed in Stark Tower – well, _Avengers_ Tower to most now but still Stark Tower to him – by Fury for whatever secret agent stuff she had to do in New York. Tony was pretty chill with her, even after the whole double – triple? – agent thing, and jabbing him in the neck with a needle. She had proved herself adept and awesome during the invasion and Tony had no reason to doubt her intentions, so long as she didn’t get _too_ interested in his tech of course, but he hadn’t been sure of Pepper’s opinion. Yeah they’d worked together to bring Hammer down, but Pepper hadn’t necessarily worked with Nat long enough to get over the whole spying business in a hurry.

For the first week or so Tony had watched them with a sort of anxious amusement, constantly waiting to see if they’d break into a catfight in the living room – something that could prove deadly to all parties involved, Tony was sure. To his… disappointment? Relief? A mix of the two, probably – they had got along just fine. Better than fine, in fact, which was natural really, since there weren’t a lot of other women Pepper could discuss her life with who would even understand, let alone care. Natasha had showed up more and more just to hang out, and was more and more relaxed, until one hot summer day Tony had strolled casually into the lounge for a quick cool drink to find both of them casually sprawled out over one couch each with their sleeves rolled up at their shirts rolled up, too. Wearing shorts as well.

The appreciative ‘hot damn’ hadn’t really been intentional, but it had happened anyway. Luckily the only response was an exasperated roll of the eyes from Pepper and a withering look from Natasha. Tony had quickly got his drink and left, trying not to think too hard about what’d just happened but finding it difficult. It wasn’t that the situation – or Tony’s reaction – had been particularly surprising. It was hot and the women felt at home – obviously they’d want to cool off a little without giving a shit about their (rocking) bodies. Tony could pass off his reaction as something societal or whatever, since one man plus two or more girls wasn’t regarded as particularly rare. Especially for someone like him. But Tony didn’t really… _like_ that. That view. Or its portrayal. Especially with Pepper, _Pepper there_ – someone he loved and cared for far more than he could describe. And Natasha too – not only could she kill him with her pinkie, but she was smart and funny and even kind on occasion. Tony respected them both. And he left feeling surprisingly disgusted with himself.

The paranoia about his own intentions began creeping back, because Tony couldn’t ignore the fact that while Pepper had probably thought otherwise, he had referred to Natasha in his comment as well. _His friend_ , Natasha, but still Natasha. And since that day, whenever Natasha was around – which was often – Tony just kept on finding himself looking at her. As the way she moved, fluid and deadly. How her hair looked like blood in water when she shook her head. What her smile was like the brief times it appeared. Possibly worse than that were the excuses to be around her that kept on popping up, and how increasingly engaging he’d found her to be around. Perhaps something similar was up with Natasha, because there was no way she was around for business anymore, and on many occasions Tony found himself with her without Pepper even in the building. He realized that she wasn’t just there for her ‘girlfriend’ anymore – she was actually _hanging out_ _with_ _him_. It had gotten worse from there.

Movie nights became a thing, because why not? Still following the well-practiced ideology of ‘if you ignore it, it will go away’, Tony had pretty much insisted, sure that what they all needed was some uninterrupted ‘buddy time’. To make sure it really was just _buddy_ time. They’d taken turns picking the movie. Tony’d provided the booze. Natasha didn’t drink – it went against her spy ethic – so there was always at least one sober person there. Pep didn’t drink a lot, and Tony, well, he was trying. And getting better. Nothing really happened and it was fun. Who knew Natasha had a thing for romcoms?

Sometimes Nat wasn’t there, usually because of secret spy stuff she could not talk about. That was fine. Tony and Pepper would choose a more romantic movie for a change, have a glass of fine wine each, spend their evenings… otherwise occupied. Sometimes Tony wasn’t there, either not shirking responsibility for once but usually so caught up in a project he couldn’t bear to leave it. That was also fine. Nat and Pep did their thing without him, which Tony expected involved either soppy romance movies or the _Saw_ series – the only two things Tony couldn’t stomach and so vehemently protested watching.

Sometimes movie night wouldn’t happen because all or two of them couldn’t make it. Only once was Pepper the one absent in the lead-up to their grand relationship and Tony made sure it never happened again.

Natasha was back from a successful mission – tired, pretty relaxed, not in a mood to give a shit. Tony could read her fairly well by then, even if it was clear by then that even off-duty Natasha wasn’t particularly expressive. They watched _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ because it was mid-September. Tony drank enough to get properly relaxed and have his mind mostly free of troubling thoughts.

‘Why don’t you drink?’ he asked suddenly, for no reason other than casual curiosity.

‘…I like to know I’m in control,’ Natasha replied after a moment, voice flat and free of expression as she sat tucked up on the couch. Her eyes didn’t leave the screen but Tony knew she was listening to him. This was relaxed for Natasha. Relaxed meant flat voice, flat face; no mask to be worn or role to be played. Tony felt both a faint swell of pride that he’d figured that out, and a sort of warm fuzziness that she liked him enough to drop pretence.

‘Fair enough,’ said Tony with a one-shouldered shrug. Personally Tony considered himself just as in control after two drinks as he did before them, but hey, he had a tolerance, and perhaps Natasha was a lightweight. Tony didn’t see any harm in having some to help relax, but then again, he wasn’t hoarding dangerous government secrets. Maybe one day Natasha would feel comfortable enough to drink… actually if she did, she would be relaxed enough not to need to.

Jack was skipping around Christmas Town by the time the next inane thought wandered into Tony’s head and decided to exit via his mouth.

‘You’re an amazing woman, you know,’ he said quietly.

‘You really think so?’ Tony blinked, and turned to look at his friend. Natasha was still watching the screen, one hand now tapping rhythmically on the leather cushion beside her. Her face was no longer quite so relaxed, but it was equally unreadable. Did Natasha… not know she great she was? Was that even possible? It struck Tony perhaps a little harder than it would have had he been sober – such a thing seemed _incredibly_ unfair.

‘ _Yeah_ ,’ he said emphatically. ‘Really _awesome_. At New York, you-you _ended_ the _invasion_ , and that whole thing with _Cap_ recently…’ Tony trailed off. Natasha was shaking her head, just slightly.

‘I’m a murderer,’ she corrected. ‘There’s nothing great about that.’ Tony waited. Nat didn’t say anything more. Tony licked his lips and continued.

‘So am I,’ he countered. ‘Technically. And even not-technically. When I got out of that cave I… I didn’t care. About that sort of thing. I just wanted _out_ , and to make sure they couldn’t do any of that ever again. Didn’t let anyone stand in my way.’ He paused for breath, getting into his stride. ‘And then with Obadiah—’

‘Stop,’ said Natasha suddenly. She glanced at him briefly, just barely making eye contact before looking away. ‘You’ve only said this stuff to Pepper.’

Tony’s breath caught in his throat. Because she was right. Tony didn’t just _open up_ to someone, didn’t just spill out that _particular_ part of his life-story even when drunk. Pepper had only gotten the full tale after many nights of being close and getting secure and way more drinks than he’d had on _that_ evening.

‘You’re not a murderer,’ Natasha continued flatly. ‘You’re a killer, sure, but not that kind. I am.’

‘Right,’ Tony managed. _Shit, shit, shit_. He’d only been trying to help, but screw that he was only _ever_ ‘trying to help’. He’d wanted to make Nat feel better because despite the cold, mechanical way she’d said the words she’d said it to shut him up, to set him straight, to try to convince him that _she wasn’t good at all_ (which she was) so Tony _knew_ it must mean something awful to her.

Natasha only acted unfeeling – she did have emotions, and she did feel sorry.

Tony didn’t want her to. It hurt more than he’d thought possible.

‘I think you should go to bed,’ said Natasha.

‘Yes,’ Tony agreed automatically, still reeling internally. He got stiffly to his feet, not even swaying, not drunk enough to sway so the alcohol definitely, _definitely_ wasn’t to blame for his sudden attempt at a heart-to-heart with someone who seemed suddenly so much more than a casual friend.

Natasha didn’t move from the couch. The movie kept on playing as background noise. The journey from the room had never felt so long.

That had been the start of, well, not the best week of Tony’s life.

He’d started avoiding the spy as much as possible. Avengers meetings and official stuff was alright because they didn’t happen often and Tony could keep focussed on something else. Even if the tasks he was given and the topics that came up were laughably simple for someone like himself. But suddenly Nat seemed to be at the tower _constantly_ , as if she was doing it on _purpose_ , and Tony found himself shut in his workshop almost as much as he had been when—

…Well. When he had been going 72 hours without a single wink of sleep.

It had meant avoiding Pepper, too, because of course she and Natasha had become steadfast friends. Tony had watched with mounting resentment, paranoid thought-process starting to convince him that the girls were definitely, definitely talking about him behind his back, which wasn’t nice to consider even if he knew it was bullshit. And a few romantic days out and a few romantic nights in wouldn’t fix it. Pepper hadn’t been oblivious to Tony’s frustration either, she knew he fair too well. They’d fought, for the first time in ages, and Tony had said a lot of things he didn’t mean and everything had gone tits-up.

Pepper had run off to Natasha. Tony knew because he was an asshole and had had Jarvis tell him. Spitefully he’d poured himself a drink, stronger than anything he’d had in a while, and imagined in great detail the huge extent of their inevitable ‘girl talk’ which inevitably involved verbally tearing him apart, and then Natasha coming down and _literally_ telling him apart, if Pepper got worked up enough.

In reality he had been severely exaggerating the situation, as well as Natasha’s ability to lose her cool. But the likelihood had seemed possible enough, so Tony’s first action when Nat stepped soundlessly into the room was to put as many work tables between her and himself as possible.

‘We need to talk,’ she said. Tony slowly, carefully, put down his laser-cutter.

‘Ok…’ _Back away slowly_ …

‘Now,’ Nat continued firmly. ‘Upstairs. All three of us. Like adults.’ Tony didn’t have much choice in the matter.

Pepper was waiting upstairs in the penthouse and, thank god, she didn’t look upset. Or, strangely enough, angry. Just massively exasperated and a little bit pitying. Usually an ok combination. Tony had to wonder what the hell was going on.

‘Sit down,’ she prompted. She even poured a drink – scotch, one of Tony’s favourites. Huh. Tony chose one of the chairs while Pepper and Natasha settled on the couch a respectful distance from each other. Altogether they formed a sort of semi-circle – good for talking and that sort of thing. Apparently. That’s what everyone said it was.

‘Now, Tony,’ pepper began. ‘We understand that you’ve been having some… issues, lately.’ Holy crap it was like a meeting with the school principle! Tony took a gulp of his drink and thanked whatever forces there were out there that he hadn’t had a Potts for a teacher.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking—’ Pepper and Natasha both silenced him with a look.

‘I’m sorry,’ he began again. And he meant it. ‘I tried, and I didn’t mean—’ He faltered, and looked imploringly at Pepper. ‘I love you, Pepper. So much. More than anything else in this crapsack world.’

‘You know I feel the same about you.’ Problem was, Tony wasn’t sure he did anymore. Did know. Perhaps it showed on his face, because Pepper broke her elementary school teacher demeanour to place a hand on top of his where it rested on the table.

‘We love each other,’ said Pepper. ‘That is established. And we’re good for each other, we work together well. There is no reason why any of this should change.’ Tony gave her a helpless look and dared to glance at Natasha. The superspy watched impassively, but her foot was twitching slightly. Pepper’s hand tightened on Tony’s and his attention was brought back to her.

‘You also like Natasha.’ Not a question, although Tony knew it must’ve been pretty obvious by then. He looked down; focused very hard on his glass. ‘It’s ok.’ That had him looking up.

‘How is it ok?’ he asked incredulously. ‘I’m… insatiable. I’m _cheating_.’

‘Not cheating,’ Natasha said quickly. ‘You still love Pepper, don’t you?’

‘Well yes, but—’

Natasha cut him off. ‘You’re polyamorous, Tony.’

Frowning, Tony briefly went over everything he knew on the subject. Which wasn’t a lot. All it came down to was the basic meaning of the word, _poly_ (many) and _amorous_ (loving). So many-loving. Loving many. That… made an alarming amount of sense, come to think of it. Tony thought back to his more carefree AKA care _less_ days. About the girls (and sometimes guys) and how often there seemed to be a piece missing. He thought he’d found it with Pepper but… well, maybe he hadn’t. And maybe this was why.

‘…Huh,’ he said, once he’d worked it all out. Pepper gave him a knowing smile.

‘’Tasha told me about it. Apparently, approximately 5% of Americans identify as polyamorous according to some sources.’

‘And you two…’ he looked between the women almost too stunned to speak, ‘you’re both fine with this?’

‘More than fine,’ said Pepper, glancing at Natasha with a smile. It seemed to be a cue.

‘I am _very_ attracted to you,’ Natasha said seriously. Tony was momentarily rendered speechless.

‘But what about _Clint?_ ’ was his first stupid sentence once his brain started working again. Natasha laughed. Actually laughed. It was a surprisingly nice sound.

‘We’re not like _that,_ Tony,’ she explained, still smiling.

‘But-but you,’ Tony spluttered, ‘you wear a _necklace_ with an _arrow_ on it!’ He gestured wildly to the offending piece of jewellery, sitting daintily on Natasha’s smooth neck. He didn’t think she ever took it off, even to shower.

‘He is very special to me,’ she agreed, absently touching the arrow for a moment. ‘But we’re more like siblings, Tony. Or… platonic soul-mates.’ Tony sat frozen for a moment with his mouth still gaping open, before collapsing back into his chair and letting the air rush out of his lungs.

‘Well then,’ he managed eventually, reaching for his glass again. ‘This is, uh… this is—’

‘Unusual?’ Pepper offered.

‘Pretty cool, actually,’ said Tony. ‘But yeah, that too.’

‘So do you wanna… give it a go?’ Natasha suggested. Tony looked back and forth between the two women again, trying to analyse, to judge, to work out a question he didn’t even know the wording of. As expected, he didn’t get an answer, and was forced to stumble blindly on.

‘You mean like a… threesome thing?’ he forced out at last. Natasha shrugged, Pepper nodded.

‘Don’t see why not,’ said Pepper, and was it just Tony or were both women taking it in turns to _eye_ him and each other? ‘It’s ok,’ Pepper continued reassuringly. ‘It’s new for all of us. We’ll take it slow… do what feels comfortable. Does that work for you?’

Tony paused before answering, running it all carefully through his head. No snap decisions, not with two beautiful hearts on the line. And while Tony’s genius brain could solve complex mathematical equations in a matter of seconds, the same rules just couldn’t be applied to people so he didn’t dare let himself rush.

‘Alright,’ he said eventually, nodding to himself. ‘Alright.’

That had been the start.

And things _were_ alright. Well, shit, _better_ than alright. The transition from one to two was easy, because in a sense, it had already happened. The only thing that changed, for Tony at least, was that the constant tension caused by his paranoia had lifted. Sure, he was still testing the waters in some respects, especially around Natasha, but now it was nothing to gently put his arm around her when she sat deliberately close on the couch, to say things only a lover should. Tony couldn’t talk to her like he talked to Pepper, because Natasha _wasn’t_ Pepper, and both women required very separate words and ways. But Tony didn’t need to be a genius to have it all figured out – he’d been well on his way even before the deciding conversation, after all.

Sex was different, obviously, when they eventually got to it. Nat didn’t have much interest in it, as it turned out, viewing it as more of a ‘work thing’. Tony could understand that even if he didn’t like the sound of it much, and had long since learned that sex, great as it was, was hardly the focal point of a relationship. Still, he didn’t really like the idea of leaving Natasha out when he and Pepper needed to… sort out their frustrations, and Pepper felt the same.

The three of them had another conversation – Tony was making progress with this adult thing – and came to another agreement of sorts: Natasha was fine with Pepper and Tony doing it without her. She preferred nonsexual intimacy, so just sleeping close to the both of them was good enough. On the occasion she did want sex, she would ask for it, simple as that. For pure physical need, she might prefer Pepper, because while the two of them were very close they weren’t lovers. For slow, romantic, I-love-you-truly sex, Tony was pretty much always available. It worked wonderfully. Far from being an interruption, Natasha was a welcome component of Pepper and Tony’s relationship, as vital to it as they were. It was so easy now. Tony felt happy, really complete, in a way he had never quite achieved with Pepper alone. Not that he loved her any less – if anything, he loved her more. Rhodey commented, when they next met, on how much Tony smiled now. Pepper thought he looked younger, and took the opportunity to lovingly brush hair off his face before going in for a kiss.

Threesome sex – because it did happen, eventually, when all of them were ready – was mind-blowing. It didn’t just consist of Pep and Nat banging while Tony watched either. More often than not he was _unable_ to watch. Pepper could be _fierce_ when she wanted to be and Natasha, well Natasha never did anything by halves, so to speak. Nights could be _intense_ , with one on his cock and the other on his tongue, making full use of each other’s mouths while Tony himself was too dizzy with pleasure to think straight. Sometimes things got pretty adventurous, which suited him just fine, although he had to wonder where the girls got these ideas from. Whatever, Tony decided; there was a reason he didn’t keep direct browsing records on his own computers.

Last night hadn’t ended like that. If it had, Tony probably wouldn’t wake up until Pepper shoved him out of bed around midday. No, last night had been simple cuddling, some light kissing, nothing to get too excited about but pleasant all the same. Maybe in the shower…

The relationship wasn’t public yet. They had a long way to go before that, particularly with the way they all knew it would be seen. Clint had been informed and had sent violent death-threats accordingly in the case that Tony broke Natasha’s heart, which he wouldn’t have dreamed of doing even without the promise of an arrow though his most sensitive regions and other horrible consequences. So private it stayed, which was good, although the rest of the team and Fury would probably need to be told at some point. Rhodey, definitely, but it could wait. While the three of them tested it out and messed up occasionally, their relationship would be kept safely within the private sphere of the tower, and that was good. Life was good. Why change it before they were ready?

Beside Tony, Natasha stirred. An early riser by habit, this was a considerable lie-in. She looked slightly surprised to see Tony awake and smiling in greeting, but murmured and ‘good morning’ of her own and pecked his cheek before slipping out of bed, graceful as a cat, and padding off to the shower.

Tony settled back into the pillows. He could catch another hour or two of dozing before his brain woke up properly, or Pepper’s watch alarm went off and she got up and left him for unfortunate responsibilities. Life was great, though. Great and finally just right.

**Author's Note:**

> N/B: For Tony’s narrative, I tend to use rather technical-sounding terms, since he is a mechanic and it’s how I imagine him to thinking about things. It isn’t meant to be objectifying - although I know it can look that way - just his thought process. It would be different from a different character’s POV.
> 
> Further N/B: Tony isn’t keen on Natasha viewing sex as a ‘work thing’ because he thinks there’s an issue with consent in there and that sex isn’t really all that healthy if you aren’t into it. He isn’t claiming ownership to Natasha or judging her sexual habits.
> 
> Last note: this may well become part of a series! I'd like to expand on the miniature 'verse, probably with a fic each for Natasha and Pepper but about separate things. Feedback on this and anything else is much appreciated~


End file.
